Shandi Beever’s Guide To Good Sex Magick

NRGCult | Thursday, 14 March 2019 |

Shandi Beever
Sex Magician



As NRGCult’s new Head of Sex Magick, I would be failing in my duty if I didn’t provide some guidelines on how the professionals perform this spectacularly powerful ritual. Sex magick creates the most potent form of energy in the known universe. Fundamentally, you’re making love with a partner whilst focusing on a goal, or a set of goals. But you have to get it right. In this post I’m going to explain how to get it right.

YOU WILL NEED…


Sex magick must be a romantic experience. You need candles, scattered rose petals, and an open coal or log fire. This may sound a little obsessive, but you should also have the ambient sound and steam from a hot stream of water in the background. It enhances the mood of the occasion.

Sexual orientation is immaterial. Gay or straight sex has exactly the same power. But there are some specific gender guidelines…

A man should look rugged, with his shirt collar so wide open that you can see his whole chest, adorned with a glinting medallion. For contrast, he should also have a rose between his teeth. A woman should have a Devil-may-care look. Wild hair, lipstick applied without a mirror, technically wearing a shirt and skirt, but so haphazardly done up that her bra and knickers are clearly visible. These dynamics create a raw attraction, which develops an energy before the sex even starts.

THE MAIN HURDLE


The primary stumbling block is the coal or log fire, which most people don’t have. I certainly don’t. But you can solve this problem by looking for smoking chimneys in your area, knocking the doors, and asking the inhabitant if you can use their lounge for an hour or so. Obviously, don’t just hammer on the door with your knickers and bra hanging out and your lipstick halfway down your chin, and say…

“Hey, I’m Shandi and this is a lorry driver I met in a café. Can we have sex in front of your fire with the hot tap running in the background please?”

YOUR PITCH


Begin by telling the resident what you’re aiming to achieve. And build a life benefit for *them* into your sex magick goal. Ask them, if they had one wish that could come true, what they would wish for. Naturally, if their wish is just for a woman who looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards, to jump some medallion-draped bloke on their living room rug, with the hot tap running, everyone’s happy. But their wish may instead be something like winning money, or receiving an industrial quantity of collie. If so, you can allocate some of the energy from your session to facilitating that goal.

Introduce the concept of sex magick to your potential host as a positive ritual. Explain it slowly, and cover the basics of how it’s going to work, logistically, within their home. How long the hot tap is likely to be running, how many of the garden rose bushes you’re going to cut down, how much cake you’re going to eat when you’ve finished, etc.

Tell your potential host where the energy comes from, where it goes, and what happens when it gets there. If you don’t know, sign up for my emails on the main site and you’ll get an energy flow chart.

LOVING RELATIONSHIP


You must always practise sex magick in the context of a loving relationship. If you don’t love your partner, sex magick does not work.

We all like to idealise, but the fact is that in any kind of relationship, things can go wrong - without notice. You may love your partner very much when you set out. But by the time you’ve driven round the neighbourhood for six hours asking strangers if you can go at it with a trucker on the floor of their lounge, your relationship may be in totally different condition. You have to prepare for that eventuality.

Be honest with yourself. Once you have the fire roaring, and the petals scattered, and the hot tap running, ask yourself…

"Do I still love this partner, or was he so inept at the basic, simple task of spotting smoke coming out of a chimney, that I’ve completely lost all respect for him as a human being?"

If you no longer love your partner, you *must* end the relationship before starting your sex magick.

IF YOU HAVE TO END YOUR RELATIONSHIP


Turn off the tap and dump your partner. Explain to your host that you’re going to need a new partner, and that there will be a delay while you find one. I don’t mind admitting that I keep more than one man in mind as a replacement, as I don’t know who’s going to be available. I text the potential replacements an urgent message inviting them along to the host’s address, and basically just see who turns up.

You can then go on Twitter and retweet relationship breakup quotes until someone arrives.

BUT WHAT IF YOU TEXT, SAY, TWELVE MEN, AND THEY ALL TURN UP?


I essentially ‘audition’ them. By that, I don’t mean they take it in turns with an inflatable doll on a stranger’s carpet and I score their performances out of ten. I mean I observe their etiquette, their punctuality, their ability to comprehend what’s going on and behave appropriately… Obviously, this assessment should be conducted with a minimum of disruption to the host. I receive the arrivals on the pavement outside the house, and I do not go back to knock the front door until I’ve selected one new partner. I can then introduce the man properly to the host. Nothing elaborate. Just…

“This is the man I’ve now selected to help me channel the magick energy. He’s agreed to pay for the coal and water we’ve wasted, and the bushes we’ve cut down.”

And then, when everything is right, you just do what comes naturally, whilst intensively focusing your mind on your goal(s). Easy when you know how.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter.



Victoria Druggs
Spellcraft Sister

And we are BACK IN BUSINESS!

Katie Shox
Guest

This is great. I always thought sex magic was just for getting promotions, but now I'm going to try sexing for an industrial quantity of collie.

Shandi Beever
Sex Magician

Good luck!

Superteeth
Cult Member

shandi if you ever want to do it in west bromwich I can be your host.

Shandi Beever
Sex Magician

Do you have a real coal fire?

Superteeth
Cult Member

no but I don't really like my curtains and im planning to burn them.