England's Oldest Surviving UFO is De-Classified

NRGCult | Thursday, 18 July 2019 |

Gayle Phabbe
Technology Executive



It has a long history, dating back to the 1960s, but the distinctive UFO which has appeared to many residents of Worcestershire, Gloucestershire and Oxfordshire, also now has a future - thanks to de-classification and a tech development deal.

Although UFOs are commonly associated with alien life, their origin is entirely terrestrial. Assuming a UFO exists, and is not just a figment of 8x-over-the-legal-limit-van-driver's imagination, it's been built by humans, on Earth.

One of the typical difficulties in substantiating this, is that the people who build UFOs are normally working under a non-diclosure order on pain of death, and will therefore never admit that the craft exists. That's why so many people think aliens build UFOs. If no human will admit to building one, it must have been some tin-headed creature from GN-z11, right?

But one long-running mystery has now been solved, as a formerly secret craft is exempted from its original non-disclosure agreement. That means we can now talk about this once puzzling flying object, and provide a fascinating insight into its history.

The de-classified craft - seen at many locations in central and southern England since 1971 - is actually a 1968 gas turbine unipod. Officially identified as GTU-002, the craft was the first ever to be built with so-called Lightwarp. Lightwarp was a top secret experimental system designed to create artificial refraction, bending the craft's own light before it reaches an observer at ground level. The plan was to confuse ground observers as to the UFO's real position in the sky. Accompanying Heatwarp and Radarwarp stealth systems were under development at the time GTU-002 was built, but not ready to incorporate.

Here are a few more interesting facts about GTU-002...

  • Even though it's now been de-classified, its original owner, and some details about its early use, must still remain secret.
  • Despite its sci-fi look, GTU-002 can't fly into space. Its maximum flying height is 9,000 feet.
  • GTU-002 always flew manned by one pilot up until 1978. Since 1978 the craft has had a remote control capability, and can be flown either manned or unmanned.
  • The craft's upper dome is made from carbon fibre. Most of the metal surfaces are aluminium.
  • GTU-002 is essentially a helicopter. The central section is a coaxial, tilting elevation rotor, which is supplemented by a very clever stabilising/directional system on the lower pod. The rotor does have wings, but the spin makes them very difficult to see when the craft is in flight at night.
  • Originally, GTU-002 did not fly with visible lights, and could not be seen in the dark at all. When it was modified for remote control use, recognition lights were added.
  • Upon de-classification in June 2019, access to GTU-002 was offered to selected parties with proven backgrounds in tech development. I was one of eight people selected to work on experimental new features! More about that as it happens...

So, get ready for more sightings of this now fully identified flying object. In fact, if you're going to be near Tewkesbury on Friday night, keep your eyes firmly fixed on the sky!



Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Who is now legally responsible for this UFO?

Simon Shorrill
Wokeness Manager

I think Gayle has provided ample information already. Be grateful for the insight she has so brilliantly and graciously summarised, rather than coming here to demand more. And it's not actually a UFO - it's a 1968 GTU identified as GTU-002, as you would know, if you were paying attention.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Oh I see the wokeness manager has taken his wife's surname. How very woke. Is there anyone around today who can actually deal with a problem, or is it just men gasping for feminist cookies?

Clix
Membership Manager

You know very well which inbox it is for complaints Jack. If you have a problem, message me. If you just want to showcase your sulking skills, stay here where everyone can watch you.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Astrid, you have literally never responded to a single message I've ever sent to that inbox. I am here acting as an investigator, on behalf of a client. You can either deal with me right here and now, or deal with the police.

Sultra Knight
Innovation Director

You don't know what you're getting yourself involved in.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Don't try pretending this hovering lump of tat is some state level untouchable. It's an absolute crate, designed by a renowned mescaline addict, which is why it's been made available to you lot. It only managed to evade legal action for decades because the police thought it belonged to the military and the military thought it belonged to Rod Stewart.

Sultra Knight
Innovation Director

Why don't you just tell us what your "client" is supposed to be carping about.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

On 13th May 2008, this flying gas leak landed in my client's swimming pool at a barbecue. Two men came hammering on the door to recover the UFO, and a heated exchange ensued. The two men begged my client not to tell the authorities, as the UFO was already wanted for polluting a reservoir. In the end a deal was struck in which my client could keep the UFO for a week to use as a babe magnet, in return for him not telling the authorities it had accidentally landed in a private swimming pool.

During the week my client spent flying the UFO, it damaged 18 lamp posts, 2 bus shelters and a Give Way sign. None of this was my client's fault. It was due to a bug in the control system. But my client was charged for the damage, and also charged for the cleanup of a polluted reservoir. He has been trying to recover the money for over ten years.

Praxischa
Spellcraft Sister

Jack, if someone tries to fly this craft past nightclubs in order to impress girls, it will damage lamp posts and bus shelters.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

The user guide says it can be flown 14 feet from street level.

Praxischa
Spellcraft Sister

Show me where it says "without hitting lamp posts and bus shelters".

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

It says "without damage".

Praxischa
Spellcraft Sister

That means damage to the craft. Not damage to lamp posts and bus shelters. If you fly it into a bus shelter, the bus shelter will collapse.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Who now owns the UFO?

Simon Shorrill
Wokeness Manager

You're supposed to be a detective. Find out.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

Exactly what I'm trying to do. Who owns the UFO?

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

I'll just have to go to the police then.

Jack Smart
Ex-Staff

I'm going literally now if no one will answer.

Katie Shox
Staff

K.